Taking the Path of Growth

I re-engaged in life gradually while retraining. I didn’t wait until recovery or until I felt perfect. It became a very active component within brain retraining for me. I incrementally trained and gradually expanded and grew out of my comfort zone inch by inch. It wasn’t an overnight thing, where I one day just emerged. It happened over the whole journey and was part of what helped me built up courage and confidence. 

One thing that can be helpful is to step out of the pressure in external timelines, especially if there is a tendency to compare one journey to someone else’s progress or presentation of their life. Lean into and ground in the things that have shifted or improved for you. Progress is still progress, no matter the pace! 

With the negativity bias of the brain, it can be easy to get caught up in what has yet to shift or where things are not going as well or feel like things are happening too slowly. Sometimes we put monumental pressure on ourselves in the midst of healing, attaching to idealistic or perfectionistic goals that feel lightyears away. It’s important to detach from those narratives because it can all be tied to the pathways that keep the body stuck in survival mode.

I would invite you to consider where you can practice self-acceptance and self-compassion to reinforce the belief that you are enough, exactly as you are. Sometimes the idea that there is something “to fix” reinforces the chemistry and environment of something being wrong and perpetuates the cycle of the body being stuck in survival mode.

Everyone in this world is different. We each have gifts and strengths and we each have challenges and hardships. I think in the rewiring journey, it’s impossible to compare someone’s progress to another’s timeline because the neutral network is such a spaghetti trail of connections that varies per person. Someone’s life experiences, mindset, support system, resources, and emotions all play a role in the journey, both in the storms and in recovery. You kind of have to put blinders on temporarily to tune out of what other people are doing and focus deeply on and connect to yourself. 

One thing that can be helpful is to step out of the pressure in external timelines, especially if there is a tendency to compare one journey to someone else’s progress or presentation of their life. Lean into and ground in the things that have shifted or improved for you.

With the negativity bias of the brain, it can be easy to get caught up in what has yet to shift or where things are not going as well or feel like things are happening too slowly. Sometimes we put monumental pressure on ourselves in the midst of healing, attaching to idealistic or perfectionistic goals that feel lightyears away. It’s important to detach from those narratives because it can be tied to the pathways that keep the body stuck in survival mode. 

I would invite you to consider where you can practice self-acceptance and self-compassion to reinforce the belief that you are enough, exactly as you are. Sometimes the idea that there is something “to fix” reinforces the chemistry and environment of something being wrong and perpetuates the cycle of the body being stuck in survival mode. 

Everyone in this world is different. We each have gifts and strengths and we each have challenges and hardships. I think in the rewiring journey, it’s impossible to compare someone’s progress to another’s timeline because the neutral network is such a spaghetti trail of connections that varies per person. Someone’s life experiences, mindset, support system, resources, and emotions all play a role in the journey, both in the storms and in recovery.  

I worked for my whole healing journey, except for the part where I was attending the in-person DNRS seminar.  Work was a coping behavior for me previously to escape from my body and dissociate. I had a very unhealthy relationship with working for the majority of my life, where my well-being was an afterthought until it couldn’t possibly be one anymore.

I worked remotely exclusively during the worst of my health journey and was not without symptoms in stepping back into a more active or present role. I used the practices within DNRS and modifications of such practices to support me in being on-site and in-person when required. I also began communicating my needs more without the fear of repurcussions or without feeling like I had to push myself beyond what I felt capable of. I learned to support myself better and be more present for myself. I also learned how to voice boundaries and see my worth.  These changes also helped my nervous system to shift out of fight/flight/freeze because I was meeting my needs more directly and my body was able to step back from a need of protection and into a state of trust.

I don’t consider myself a talented singer but that doesn’t matter because we are equipped with unique power in our voice. Singing, chanting and humming all support the vagus nerve and are probably one of my most used practices for shifting into a parasympathetic state. I also enjoy yin and restorative yoga practices and myofascial release. 

Journey Dance is an ecstatic or intuitive dance practice that is offered virtually and in-person. It’s one of my favorite ways to somatically experience and release feelings and work through things that I may not even be consciously aware of.  I wrote a blog on my experience with Journey Dance previously here. I highly recommend checking it out! 

Because I had a lot of unsupportive work habits originally and belief systems where basic needs like rest felt was something I had to earn, rewiring my experience with working was a part of my journey I experienced to be very non-linear. I still feel like I haven’t fully mastered it, but the progress is really drastically different from where I started. I know my baseline now and when and how I need to adjust if old patterns show up. In terms of rewiring while working, I had a really big wake up call on the need to prioritize myself. I started to consider my needs and my wellness for the first time in this process and really started to declare space for myself. That was not an easy adaption as it felt completely unfamiliar in the beginning. I felt feelings like guilt in taking up space. Working through these layers were very much part of the process. It wasn’t easy, but it definitely got easier in practice. 

I was able to see definite improvements and shifts in 6 months, but I consider the practice and regulation to have been an on-going effort. Having started in 2018 and shed all chronic illness diagnoses in 2020, 6 months of practice was not my ticket there.  The practices lead to lifestyle changes and it is those changes that regulation happened with more automation and less conscious effort. The practices are a tool, but they are not the ticket. Without knowing anything about your particular situation, I would refer to the core of recovery graphic that I shared during the presentation. I had done talk-therapy prior to my experience with DNRS as a means of unpacking my past. It wasn’t productive for me originally because I was not yet in a state where my nervous system felt save to explore such things or remain grounded. I fell deeper into the hole of dysregulation because I had no tools. When I gained the tools and began practicing them, I also gained awareness in how I could repattern habits and belief systems to free myself from the past. It it through that work on expressing/processing feelings and considering beliefs where I felt more lasting changes and freedom. 

Generally, that is not an initial component in establishing regulation, but becomes a component to build resilience, vagal tone, and emotional intelligence which can also support the nervous system’s ability to shift in and out of states without getting stuck.  The goal is never to only live life in a parasympathetic state but to effectively be able to shift in and out as needed and as the nervous system was designed. Polyvagal theory also helped me expand beyond the practices in DNRS and gain more insights for regulation. 

Great question! I don’t have a simple answer, but I will share what I have done as it relates to this question.

Generally, I haven’t worked with my limbic system in a way where I wanted to prevent or silence any feedback. I usually lean into the feedback to hear what is happening and address the underlying need. If there is feedback for why something didn’t go a certain way, I explore the expectation being held, the attachment to it, and why it’s important. Sometimes the limbic system hold allegiance to how something has to happen in order to receive or have certain needs met but it doesn’t recognize the diversity in paths that can be taken to still obtain that need or goal. I really enjoy communicating with my limbic system more directly and allowing that part of me to express in supported manners (journaling and/or creative arts expression are what work for me) so that it isn’t being suppressed in my body or resisted.

I have usually done journaling practices, like a gratitude journal and what I call a “victory garden” to catalog celebratory wins in order to bring more focus to such things. The negative bias can shift attention onto short-comings, so that has been my way to more consciously balance things out. I haven’t really gone through past memories to redo them but what I have done outside of the practice of DNRS rounds is to go back into challenging memories or traumatic experiences, not to replay things as they occurred but to bring my higher self there as a loving presence of support and compassion for my wounded self. It helps to bring healing to those memories and sort of integrate my present wisdom in where I experience more of a sense of resolve.  I used the golden scissors concept (where you cut out or remove an intrusive aspect of a memory) early on in retraining where there was more of a prominence and allegiance to stress chemistry and such images were more frequent occurrences, but I don’t consider it a long-term tool. It’s a temporary way to shift out of unpleasant aspects, but there is also possibility in healing such memories through a combination of building capacity to hold space and tuning into the chatter to better meet the underlying needs.

Joy of Yoga offers virtual classes! I’ve been attending since March 2020. They are in central time zone. I also practice with local teachers in Florida and some are still offering online options. A few of my favorite teachers have contributed course material for the Joyful Movement module of the Brain Gardening program.