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Taking the Path of Growth
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The Biggest Mistake I made in my Rewiring Journey
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How do you show up for yourself when things feel t

How do you show up for yourself when things feel tough?

Do you push to sustain fixed standards you've set out for yourself?

Or do you nurture and address the specific emotional needs when things don't feel to be running smoothly?

In the moments where it feels like progress is stagnant or things are going in reverse can often be our best opportunity to show up fully for ourselves, with love.

Anything less can facilitate cycles where things may continue to feel worse.

Learning to extend compassion, patience, and grace to yourself is something that may not come naturally at times. However, it's the foundation by which self-trust grows. Only when we can meet ourselves exactly where we are, in whatever depths of despair that may be, is when we can begin to work with ourselves rather than against us.

Growing at your pace and catering to your individual needs is particularly important in this journey. It's okay if the journey doesn't look like someone else's. It doesn't mean you're not headed to the same destination.

#recoverystory #recoverymonth #suicidepreventionmonth #selfcareawarenessmonth #braingardening #themountain #mountainclimbing #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #ebbsandflows #healingisnotlinear #healingjourney #curable #chronicpain #depression #anxiety #brainretraining #dnrs #mytmsjourney #ptsdrecovery #cptsdrecovery #griefjourney #lifecoach #mindsetcoach #neuroplasticity #inspirationalquotes #motivationalquotes #permissiontorest #selflove

If you feel like you’re struggling or stuck righ

If you feel like you’re struggling or stuck right now, I see you.

This week something occurred in my life that came as a surprise to me. At times, I felt like I was right back at the beginning of the journey, emotionally speaking.

I felt raw. My tendency was to run away from those feelings. To shut down. To try to avoid them. But I know that doesn’t actually help, though it may feel easier in the moment. I sat with every feeling and tracked its origins. What was the belief behind that? Why did it feel SO important? A lot of the old beliefs find their roots in things that don’t seem related—there is a blurring of the lines. I saw that in myself in how I had held beliefs, created in childhood, and applied them so ferociously to my life in the present.
What’s changed now is that I see the choice, even if I do feel emotionally reactive at times. I eventually see that there is an alternate route.

The imprinting of the past and all the patterns from those coping behaviors is like a sticky web. You think you’ve got it all cleared and sometimes there is a dark corner that went unchecked with more webbing to clear out. 🕸

Sifting through it can certainly take more energy and effort. It’s not necessarily an easy process but it does get easier. These more intentional choices override whatever the automatic reaction is and create breaks in those patterns. You step into curiosity and choice, and out of the subconscious mind leading the way.

I know not everyone is always aware of the choices that are available. It often feels like there is never anything between black and white at times when it comes to emotions and processing all that life brings.

This week was enough to break me down, but I still had something in me to help build it back up.

Perfectionism and always feeling “good” is not the goal of recovery. It’s knowing you’re okay, and that “bad” feelings or experiences are temporary and you have a power that lives within you to get you through it. It’s also feeling a sense of support or security even within discomfort.

TW: Divorce / Adverse Childhood Jackie had a sign

TW: Divorce / Adverse Childhood

Jackie had a significant amount of importance and meaning in my life—she wasn’t just a dog—she was someone I loved and valued greatly. As an only child, I considered her a sibling rather than a pet. She helped me emotionally feel more secure and was a source of comfort/safety for me while going through drastic changes in life. She came into my life at a time where I was moved away from where I considered home, my school, my friends, and people that had been my support system. I was already at a level of insecurity and still adjusting to that.

About a year after my childhood dream of getting a dog came true, my parents began divorce proceedings. To put it briefly, it was a long and drawn-out process, and I felt trapped in the middle of it. Jackie and I became commodities. In the end, one parent got me and one parent got her.

The impact of losing Jackie as my dog was my first lesson in heartbreak, and it left me questioning everything and anything or anyone I allowed myself to get close to. I felt like I didn’t matter. It felt like my world was crumbling and there was nothing in my power to change anything about it. I felt silenced and unseen. I felt broken. I felt disposable, betrayed, unloved, and completely blindsided. I felt like there was something wrong with me to deserve what happened.

I embodied those beliefs for over 20 years and continued to funnel life through the lens of those beliefs. They became my new normal from that point, like new programming that had been downloaded to my brain, overriding whatever came before it. If something like love or joy came into my life, I felt I didn’t deserve it and would eventually subconsciously self-sabotage as a means of protection against being hurt or blindsided later.

It wasn’t until adulthood that I gained an understanding on the magnitude of that initial experience for my child mind.

It was a level of loss that I was not equipped to manage, and created more distrust between those in closest proximity to me, insecurity, anxiety, and feelings of “not-enoughness”—I didn’t feel like I at all mattered. That set me up to treat myself that way as well.

An archive of our experiences and their emotional

An archive of our experiences and their emotional impact live in our brain’s limbic system. Also within the limbic system is the amygdala, our own internal watchdog or alarm system.

When the well-being of something of high value to us is threatened—be it a loved one, a sentimental object, our dreams/aspirations, or anything perceived in the same light—the amygdala will likely alarm.

Think of it as a jewel heist, with the alarm system going off when something valuable has gone missing.

In response, the brain's amygdala activates fight, flight, freeze, or fawn responses, also known as survival behaviors. This protective mechanism has a direct impact on the central nervous system. Somatic effects, or felt sensations in the body, are commonly part of grief or loss.

This is a bit different than other experiences where the amygdala may be triggered, though the sense of powerless to change circumstances is perhaps a common thread. Grief is complex and the process of moving through is often more layered to eventually co-exist with it more peacefully.

The goal is not to avoid the grief or the emotions that may come up, but to continue to move through them with the higher self as a compassionate witness. The task becomes an integration of both the thinking brain (the cortex) and the emotional brain (the limbic system) so you’re not overwhelmed or stagnant in the feelings at a chronic level without thought as a mediator, but you're also not silencing feelings that may come up.

Rather than telling someone that their grief will go away in time, this acknowledges that there will be some days where grief may feel as strongly as it did in the beginning of the process. The ‘growing around grief’ model by grief counselor Lois Tonkin shows that we can integrate both, grieving loss AND also continuing to grow. It's not an either-or scenario.

I offer this post today on #GriefAwarenessDay with the intention to support the process of moving through grief, not as a means of minimizing it. More information about emotional processing and regulation is within our upcoming program. (Link in bio)

Sending love to anyone that may need it 💓 #sen

Sending love to anyone that may need it 💓

#sendinglove #chronicpain #curable #chronicillness #benzowithdrawal #benzowarrior #spoonie #invisibleillness #invisibleillnesswarrior #griefawareness #griefawarenessday #grief #griefjourney #griefsupport #griefandloss #griefwork #loveandlight #loveandacceptance #braingardening #brainretraining #harddays #ebbsandflows #hurricaneida #supportothers #prayersforlouisiana #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #mentalwellness #mentalwellnessmatters #coregulation

Recently I offered the definition of rest and disc

Recently I offered the definition of rest and discussed how core beliefs can play into our ability to effectively rest.

For example, we may feel we need to do something or accomplish something in order to be "deserving" of rest. We may override our internal cues for rest in order to meet external deadlines or timelines—detaching us from our natural rhythm.

Rest is a basic necessity and requirement for being alive. Yet, sometimes our focus on doing far outweighs our space for resting.

I noticed this pattern returning for myself recently. I was filling out my calendar with stuff to do, things that needed to get done, deadlines to reach, and putting fire under my feet to get it all done. Even in more idle time, my mind would wander and still be in "working mode". This is because the brain likes to repeat patterns, and that was the pattern dominating my experience, so it continued it subconsciously.

As a first layer, I stepped into curiosity. Why was I doing this? Was there real urgency or was I adding urgency into the process because that was previously what was more familiar?

Yes, my brain was just defaulting to taking the more familiar route. There is still less traction in the new or more intentional way of doing things.

I went back to an old habit that supported me through my initial rewiring of this tendency. I returned to scheduling in restorative practices in my calendar—making space for having no agenda other than restoration. This blocked out time just for me to break away from the cycle of "doing" and open space for "being". It supports me in being more cognizant of balance.

Restoration doesn't necessarily mean sleep.

There are many forms of rest that each can replenish our mind and our body.

🛌Physical rest: giving the body a break
🧠Mental rest: giving the mind a break
😑Emotional rest: releasing or expressing emotions
👯Social rest: spending time with a friend (or with yourself)
🖼Creative rest: doing something for fun or inspiration
🧘🏽Spiritual rest: connecting with your spiritual side
👁Sensory rest: nourishing your senses or limiting stimulation

What’s your favorite way to refill the cup you pour from?

Duality. This has been a theme in the content I've

Duality. This has been a theme in the content I've been writing and creating over this past week. Through this journey, I've learned how to hold space for both love and pain. To see the good, while also acknowledging the bad. You build a capacity to hold both rather than remaining unconscious to one side of things. There isn't ever just one side.

Pixel often makes an appearance in the stories of this page. She has been a huge part of my journey, supporting me through the lowest of lows and being a reference point for joy when I lost my own. She has taught me how to play, how to be loved, how to love, and how to live adventurously. To say I appreciate her is an understatement. I probably would not be here if not for her.

She was one of my main reasons to keep going, to keep trying, to keep getting back up. Pixel was part of a pivotal time in my life and my partner's. I made the decision to withdraw from benzodiazapines, not knowing what that would entail and how life would continue to throw curveballs. I didn't have any of the skills I would later develop through brain retraining. My partner and I both experienced unimaginable amounts of grief that year, and Pixel became so attuned to our emotional states. She would lick away tears and offer weight on our chests to slow breathing. Before the pandemic, I had plans to go through a therapy dog training program with her because she is so empathetic and skilled with co-regulation. I felt she could be of support to others going through challenges.

But Pixel wasn't my first dog. That was Jackie, who I don't believe I've shared here before. Those memories have been so compounded with grief that very rarely was I able to excavate more than a nugget of fleeting joy. Pixel has helped heal so much of that wounding. The circumstances surrounding Jackie were part of my first "perfect storm"—my world shattered. Pixel has been the gold in a Kintsugi pottery piece. The cracks are still there, but they've been filled with a love that helps hold things all together, rendering it functional and whole again. 🏺

Take what you need. 💐 #selfcaresunday #sundays

Take what you need. 💐

#selfcaresunday #sundayselfcare #takewhatyouneed #selfcare #selflovejourney #braingardening #brainretraining #brainrewiring #growthmindset #setanintention #intentionalliving #neuroplasticity #rewireyourbrain #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthtips #flowersforyou #flowersformentalhealth #flowersforme #spreadlove #floraldesign #motivationmonday #mondaymotivation #anxietysupport #griefsupport #griefjourney #healingjourney #recoveryispossible #emotionalsupport #mindsetmatters

We empower individuals with resilience tools that support sustainable habits and promote physical, emotional, social, spiritual, and mental wellness.

Brain Gardening® creates and curates evidence-based resources for stress management and to facilitate relief from stress-related illness using neuroscience, somatic practices, creative expression, and the healing arts.

Your brain is a garden and your thoughts are the seeds.
Nourish the flowers and pluck out the weeds!

Your brain is a garden and your thoughts are the seeds.
Nourish the flowers and pluck out the weeds!

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